Luisa, Louie, Loubie Lu, Pooisa, Lala and Nou-Nou...think that's all of them
So I pretty much live in Victoria as this is where I spend most of my time working. Because we’re so close to Westminster we’re on high alert for the protesters who are protesting against everything and anything. The twats.
All I’ve heard so far this morning is a shit load of police cars whizzing past but no actual fights. The television isn’t doing much to make me feel worried about these protests either. I’ve been to scarier pop concerts.
Ok so I am in a whingey mood today, work is crap, my boyfriend is in Leeds, I have too much work to do and I am so hormonal, I make the incredible Hulk look like a pussycat.
I’m quite aware I’m whinging and whining but to be honest nothing is really helping right now except the sunshine and CHOCOLATE! Ah chocolate, the greatest recipe known to man. I could marry a kitkat right now…
Yep you’ve guessed it today has been another one of those days. Really not enjoying work at the minute and everything seems to be a struggle.
It’s at time like these you’re really glad to have someone fighting your corner and that’s why I am thankful I work with Mona. I can always rely on her to provide me with some back up if I feel against the wall and she’s really great at boosting me and keeping me believing I am doing a good job.
Unfortunately it’s not always possible to get relationships like this elsewhere and whether it be at home, work or socially, sometimes, it’s those relationships you feel you get the most out of. You don’t ask for the support but they give it to you anyway, and it’s at times like that, that I feel incredibly lucky.
So I know this has been done to death and I think it’s fair to say that every person in the world is now aware we’re in an economic recession.
What I do want to add however is that because of some stupid actions by a few stupid people, more people are now suffering than need be. This recession has been caused by us. All of us, because a recession is not some mythical creature that like a plague causes people to lose their jobs. Instead it’s the result of people panicking in reaction to Northern Rock and the fact that America couldn’t sort out their mortgage lending. IF we’d all kept our heads and continued to behave as we had done for the last 10 years, we’d now not be facing financial uncertainty and our children’s futures would be set. Instead, we’re now all struggling to manage to live and even those of us with jobs are finding the situation incredibly stressful.
I’m lucky I have a job but it doesn’t mean that my life is a breeze. Instead a huge amount of pressure and stress is placed on me to get the tasks of 3 people done in one day, instead of just my own.
This in turn means that I have to consider my future at the company I work for and whether or not I can stand to stay there. Whilst I really enjoy my job the majority of the time, it’s the company politics involved that cause me the most grief. It seems as with most companies, it’s not about working to the best method to ensure we all work well and together, it’s more about trying to prove a point and brown nose as many people as possible.
I absolutely can’t stand this and because I don’t agree with this behaviour I find myself not getting the recognition or promotion I deserve. This is not because I don’t work well and not because I don’t deserve it, but more because I don’t agree with compromising my integrity and morals to get to where I want to be. If I have worked hard, then I feel I should be promoted.
Now I’m coming to terms with the fact that I probably not going to get this and so I have no option but to look elsewhere. This saddens me because ultimately I’m good at my job and without my knowledge and help across the product, they’ll find it hard to operate without me. Again this is not me being arrogant but I am the only person support this function across the UK.
Time to formulate a plan me thinks…
I’m watching a program on Cleopatra and lord knows why but I could watch facial reconstructions and skeletal analysis as well as excavations all day.
I love HISTORY…
On a recent trip to Huddersfield with Sam we stopped in the art section of Waterstones. Sam managed to get a book at a 100% mark down (thats another story) but he also showed me a book called PostSecret which I had to buy.
The theory behind this book was to get people to write a secret anonymously on a post card and then for them to send it to the author. Whilst some are a bit tongue in cheek, some are utterly shocking and others upsetting.
It made me think about all the secrets I had and why we feel the shame to have to keep these as secrets. For many people, what seems like a large secret may to others be next to nothing and blown out of proportion all because of the shame they feel.
I found it surprising how willing people are to share a secret anonymously with someone they don’t even know. Perhaps it therapeutic. There’s one secret that I harbour and its not something I’ve done but it’s something that would devastate someone I know because it was ultimately their fault.
It also got me thinking about the secrets my Dad had before he died. There were two we know he kept and for one he promised the person who told him that he’d never disclose what they had told him. He never did.
It makes me proud to think that my Dad was that honourable but then again was this secret a burden that my Dad could have shared?
Sometimes it might just be better to be honest and if you can’t be honest with those you love, perhaps putting it on a postcard to a complete stranger will do the trick.
I was going to write some self-obsessed pondering but I can’t be arsed to bore you today
So I am desperate to move up to the North so I can find a new job and move closer to my boyfriend. Some people may think this is a crazy idea especially in the current economic climate but things are so unbelievably difficult at work right now that I feel that if I don’t move near the one person who makes me happy, then I may never feel like I belong anywhere. Not only that but being away from Sam makes me feel sick, physically. I can’t explain how wonderful I feel when I am with him. So in order to get the ball rolling and so I am fully prepared, I have lists of things to do. These include:
-getting a refund on my train ticket for 2 days
-clearing out my clothes and taking stuff to the charity shop that I no longer wear
-putting all my CDs on my itunes and then selling the CDs on Ebay
-getting my shit together in general.
I love organising myself. So satisfying!
