Sleep…who needs it?
Well I do really but my mind isn’t about to let me get off to the world of sleep.
As I’ve blogged before, I miss my Dad intensely. I feel his death was a great injustice and subsequently it makes it all the more difficult to let it go.
Because of this, I get moments where I cry like a baby and can’t help but feel like a complete idiot.
My dad passed away nearly 3 years ago now and not a day goes by where he isn’t in my mind and I don’t miss him. As a result of the continual missing and the fact that I never really got to deal with his passing, I have episodes of crying and dread that I am going to die.
As a direct consequence, I have suffered from panic attacks and on a few occassions have thought I was dying of a heart attack. I’ve also been suffering from sciatica as a result of a rotated pelvis. My auto reaction was that I have cauda equina and that I was going to be paralysed.
I didn’t sleep well. Now I’ve had headaches and dizziness which I have convinced myself is down to a brain tumour. It’s stupid and rationality would say that lack of decent sleep and stress have contributed to my symptoms. But not me, no I have a brain tumour.
Stupid girl. So figuring this is all related to my GAD I am off to the doctors tomorrow morning to see the doc and ask for a referral to a CBT expert.
Lets see if it works.
